Matuwa Ka

Smart Programmer Kid Being Punished

2011-12-14T13:50:00.002+08:00

Computer Security and Privacy

2011-10-20T13:19:00.002+08:00

Maintaining a whole perfect sense of computer and/or internet privacy and security requires a big investment and a whole lot of effort. But with ingenuity, the complications of setting-up one is not a big deal. See below photos to know what I mean... No one would see what you're typing No one would see what you're surfing Best of all, the ultimate security.... Okay, now that's not what real

Just Burn the Bridge When You Get There

2011-10-14T14:46:00.003+08:00

The following just made it to my inbox which came from a good friend - Mr5uplado - who can relate most to this. Read on and please do care to explain to me if you were able to understand it. We’ ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it’s only now that I gave her a second look. I realized that beauty is in the

Yahoo News Needs ProofReaders

2011-09-26T18:51:00.002+08:00

Click the images below to download and zoom. Evidence #1: Read the photo caption on the right of the image. Evidence #2: New word being invented.

SysAd and Programmer Scenario

2011-09-21T17:37:00.000+08:00

The following conversations below are real-life scenario from the office. These were e-mail conversations between the Programmer (who also administers their own department's domain) and the Company's System-wide Administrator (who manages all the DHCP servers). The Problem: Trouble with IP Address conflicts within the Programmer's department, and an unknown machine that's been obtaining an

Down Memory Lane

2011-03-01T09:46:00.000+08:00

TO ALL PINOY KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's! First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne, smoked and/or drank San Miguel Beer or Syoktong, while they carried us. The manghihilot was the cheapest way to deliver babies. Dinala ka ba ng nanay mo sa pediatrician for DPT? While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, cortal or medicol,

Break Muna

2011-02-17T22:14:00.002+08:00

Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?! <<>><<>> <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> SA MAY KANTO. LASING: Miss ang panget mo! BABAE: Kapal ng mukha mo! Ikaw naman LASENGGO! LASING: Bukas di na ako lasing, ikaw bukas panget pa rin! Wahahahahaha..... <<>><<>> <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> ANAK:

Ang Pag-Ibig

2010-10-06T13:50:00.007+08:00

I Used to be like this...Then I met a gal...She was like this...Together, we were like this...I gave her gifts like this...When she accepted my proposal, I was like this...I used to talk to her all night like this...And at office used to do this...When my friends saw my gal friend, they stared like this...And I used to react like this...But on Valentines Day, she receivedred rose from someone

5.5.5 on 10.10.10

2010-10-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

Alam nyo ba? na ngayong 10.10.10 o Octubre a-dyes, taong dalawang libo at sampu, ay mayroong 5.5.5? limang byernes limang sabado at limang linggo, lahat ay napapabilang sa iisang buwan lamang ng Oktubre ngayong taon. Ito ay minsan lamang mangyari sa loob ng 823 taon. Maging mapanuri, mapangahas, at matulis. Ito po si Kuya Kim, sama-sama tayong maging..... SAKSI!!!

Enduring Love

2010-10-01T08:54:00.000+08:00

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel

Mga Jokes ni Mak

2010-09-23T15:22:00.001+08:00

MISTER: wala akong tulog dahil naiisip ko P500K na utang ko kay pare. MISIS: madali yan! Tawagan mo si pare, sabihin mong hindi ka makakabayad sa utang mo para siya naman ang hindi makatulog! **** JUDGE: isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord,swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? ACCUSED: meron po. Pulis po ako. **** JEEP

Laugh

2010-09-21T17:34:00.003+08:00

Makabagong kasabihan: Kagandahan edition 1 ) Para sa magaganda: "aanhin mo ang ganda, kung wala ka namang papa." 2 ) Para sa gustong magpaganda/retokada : "kung gusto mong lumandi, tiisin mo ang hapdi" 3 ) Para sa mga feeling magaganda: "talbog ang matigas na tinapay sa tigas ng mukha ng nagmamagandang inday" 4 ) Para sa mga walang ganda: "mabait man daw at magaling

More Famous Jokes

2010-09-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

Dalawang Sira ulo.... SIRA1: Magaling ka na ba? SIRA2: Oo namn!!! SIRA1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko? SIRA2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d nalaglag pa ko!!! TEACHER and BOY TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga? BOY: hihina po pandinig ko. TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga? BOY: lalabo po

Pick-Up Lines (Na Naman?!)

2010-08-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

“ Arc reactor ka ba? Di ako tatagal kapag nawala ka sa dibdib ko” “ Ang init ngayon no? Dito ka sa puso ko… malamig. “ Buti pa email… May attachment. “ Marunong ka bang mag-ayos ng cellphone? Sira yata itong iPhone ko… Wala kasi yung number mo… “ Para kang algebraic expression Minsan mahirap maintindihan But when you’re in the simplest form The best ka talaga

Pinoy Jokes

2010-07-01T13:52:00.001+08:00

Estudyante Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500 Estudiante! Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante. Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL ok yun! Pamboboso Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko! Inay: Bastos 'yun, ah! Ano ginawa mo? Anak: Inalis ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di n'ya makita! Liit naman Wife: honey... bili mo naman

Pamana ni Lola sa kanyang Apo

2010-05-29T08:00:00.003+08:00

:~ Nag uusap ang Lola at Ang Apo tungkol sa Pamana: Sabi ng Lola: Apo, alam mo na matanda na ako, malapit na akong mamatay, Ipapamana ko sa iyo ang aking Sakahan, Prutasan, Bahay at ang mga alaga kong Hayop. Sabi ng Apo: Laking pasasalamat ko po Lola, Saan po Yun? Sabi ng Lola: Sa Facebook Apo, heto Email ko hot_lola16@yahoo.com at ang Password ay Ganda122. Click mo sa bookmark ang Farmville.

Kotow

2010-05-27T19:13:00.001+08:00

:p Teacher: ano ang ating pambansang hayop Student: kuto! Teacher: mali, may w sa huli Student: kutow! Teacher: mali, mayu sungay... Student: demonyong kutow! Teacher: mali, may buntot Student: demonyong kutow na may buntot!

Wowowee

2010-05-25T09:13:00.000+08:00

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants! 1. Q: "Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?" A: "Utong!" 2. Q: "Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?" A: "Umiilaw!" 3. Q: "Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao? A: "Humanitarian?" 4. Q: "Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga." A: "Ninja?" 5. Q: "Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?" A: "

Sa Isang Kainan

2010-04-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

Taong Gutom: ahmm... ate, pa-order naman po two rice. Serbidora: ilang rice po? Taong Gutom (nagtataka!): dalawa. Serbidora: Ano po'ng ulam? Taong Gutom: half order sa ampalaya. Serbidora: ilang order po ng ampalaya? Taong Gutom (lalong nagutom): kalahati.

Manny Pacquiao Jokes

2010-04-13T13:37:00.000+08:00

:p Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan. Aling Dionisia: Talaga?... gusto ko gumanda! Genie: Buksan mo ang bote. Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako? Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg? Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

Best Years In Life

2010-03-19T13:51:00.003+08:00

:D A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause!!! A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit

Happy Valentine's Day ;)

2010-02-11T14:24:00.004+08:00

:p got this from an e-mail thread, enjoy laughing... ;)

Asking What You Already Know

2010-01-26T10:55:00.005+08:00

While I was at the LTO Main Compound on my way to the office, I passed by two men also going to our office. I usually don't mind the conversations that I overhear from the people that I pass by, but in this particular scenario, I can't help but to re-think what I heard. It made me grin as I enter our main lobby, find out for yourself why! Man 1 & Man 2: Walking

Sexist World

2010-01-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

Girl: It is odd how society seees things. Let's say if a guy sleeps with all these girls, "he's the man!" or a stud. But if a girl does, she's a total slut or whore. Is society sexists? Guy: Well, think about it this way. If a key can open a bunch of locks, it's viewed as a "master key", and is awesome to have. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, well that's a pretty shitty lock

The Gay and His Pleading Brother

2009-12-16T22:58:00.001+08:00

Gay: Ako'y matutulog na sa aking higaan, dahil ako'y gigising pa bago magbukang liwayway. Sana ako'y makatulog ng mahimbing, upang ako'y makabawi sa ilang araw na pagsusunog ng aking makapal na kilay. Good night crush! =) Brother matulog ka ng mahimbing, upang sa iyong pag-gising, matanto mong ika'y lalaki rin! Gay: Ngunit kahit anong gawin, umaga'y gumaganda pa

Cooperation

2009-12-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

Earlier, as I was browsing over our MAIDRS running pictures, my attention was caught by this one.And so, I tagged this one as COOPERATION. Here's a closer look:See what I mean?

Yaya

2009-12-03T09:37:00.000+08:00

:~ 1. Yaya buys food at McDo. Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?” Yaya: “Puwede sa table?” --- --- --------- --------- 2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!” Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.” Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?” Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.” --- --- --------- --------- 3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office. Doc: “Bottlefed?” Woman: “Breastfed po.” (Doctors squeezes woman’

Cirilo

2009-12-01T11:16:00.003+08:00

:p A wealthy man living in an exclusive Connecticut suburb decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of 20 his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Cirilo, the only Filipino in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.. Everyone was having a good time drinking Roederer Cristal, Le Pin, dancing, eating foie gras, Belon oysters and

Men's Health Urbanathlon and Festival 2009 Funny Pictures

2009-11-25T18:06:00.006+08:00

:) As running enthusiasts, we find joy in taking pictures after finishing the race. Here's our most recent funny pictures (I only selected a few) after our Men's Health Urbanathlon and Festival 2009. Pictures are better viewed if clicked Ü Okay, this picture is not funny, this is just our best group picture. Have you seen the movie Orphan? Spot Esther from this picture :D Brokeback

Triple Birthday Treat

2009-11-19T15:15:00.005+08:00

:D In our group, 3 out of 4 celebrates our birthday every November. I don't know if November Birthday Celebrators is equally dominant in your company. If you'll do the Math, knowing that a woman bears a child 9 months from conception to giving birth, you'll arrive at February as the egg cell and sperm cell's acquaintance. And as we all know, February is the Month of LOVE! *grin* And so we

Alamat Kung Bakit Sinungaling Ang Mga Lalaki

2009-09-11T14:57:00.003+08:00

=)) Ito ang alamat kung bakit nagsi-sinungaling ang mga lalaki.. *** Karpintero itong si Juan at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isang bahay sa tabi ng ilog.Sa lakas ng pagma-martilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyo niya sa ilog. Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian Angel niya, "tutulungan kita, Juan".. .sabay lundag sa ilog. Lumabas ito na me hawak na Gold hammer, "ito ba ang martilyo mo?

The Cowboy and The Genie

2009-06-08T23:50:00.003+08:00

:~A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.His horse has already died of thirst.He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden; he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens

What Type of Programmer Are You?

2009-05-29T08:09:00.003+08:00

:p10 types of programmers you’ll encounter in the fieldProgrammers enjoy a reputation for being peculiar people. In fact, even within the development community, there are certain programmer archetypes that other programmers find strange. Here are 10 types of programmers you are likely to run across. Can you think of any more?#1: GandalfThis programmer type looks like a short-list candidate to

Why Am I Married?

2009-05-12T02:00:00.004+08:00

:~You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be miserable,or get married and wish you were dead.At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?""Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted".Next day she received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:"You can have mine."

A Letter to Bob Ong

2009-04-27T04:47:00.001+08:00

:pDear Mr. Bob Ong,Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong ramp model na stage actress na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?In lab na po ako. Ano po

Man and Wife

2009-04-24T18:39:00.002+08:00

:DWife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'"---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Math Class

2009-04-23T17:50:00.002+08:00

:vA mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his

True Stories About Stupid PC Customer

2009-04-20T18:53:00.002+08:00

:r"I downloaded Netscape and tried to install it. It said not to install this version if I was running Win95. So I uninstalled Win95..."Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.An IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said

English Tagalog Dictionary

2009-04-06T11:15:00.004+08:00

:vContemplate - kulang ang mga pingganPunctuation - pera para maka-enrolIce Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhokTenacious - sapatos na pang tennisCalculator - tawagan kita mamayaProtestant - Tindahan ng prutasStatue - Ikaw ba yan?Tissue - Ikaw nga!Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yeloCity - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at LeynaPersuading - Unang

Funny Answers by Brilliants

2009-03-27T00:48:00.001+08:00

:~Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack!Q: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take four men to build it?A: No time at all it is already built.Q: If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?A: Very large hands.(

Kids Are Quick

2009-03-26T23:40:00.003+08:00

:zTEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.MARIA: Here it is.TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Maria.____________________________________TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.__________________________________________TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'GLENN:

Mga Pamatay na Hirit

2009-03-26T23:31:00.004+08:00

:r(Karugtong ng Corny Pick-up Lines)"Kumain ka ba ng asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo!""May lahi ka bang keyboard? Type kasi kita!""Ipapupulis kita! Ninakaw mo kasi ang puso ko!""Are you a dictionary? Kasi, you add meaning to my life.""Meron ka bang lisensya? Kasi, you drive me crazy.""I lost my number. Can I have yours?""Angel ba ang name mo? Kasi, you look like one.""I forgot your name. Can I

Bill Gates Recruits New Chairman

2009-03-09T18:59:00.001+08:00

:DBill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a newChairman for Microsoft Europe.Exactly 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate isMARIO DIMACULANGAN.Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.2,000 people leave the room.MARIO says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to loseif I stay. I'll give it a try.Bill Gates: Candidates

Old Jokes

2009-02-10T23:28:00.009+08:00

:zABAKADABaka kasi Inglisera na tayong masyado, so practice muna ulit ng ating wika, okay?Basahin ang mga sumusunod sa Tagalog:B, K, W, L, K, M, G, W, P, R, M, S, Y, T, W, K, H, H, H, T, W, P, H, H,H, T, M, N, P, R, K, N, T, NGa!P! , D, L, Mo, S, I, B...P, R, N, man, M, K, B, wi K ! H, H, H.....ANAK AT NANAYBoy: Nay may ulam ba?Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.Boy: Eh wala naman tayong

Parental Wisdom - Filipino Style

2009-02-04T13:55:00.005+08:00

:~Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang.1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay." 2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!" 3.Kay

"Ang Tanging Ina" Movie Funny Lines

2009-01-27T01:08:00.004+08:00

:O1. Pag may tyaga, goodluck!2. Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.3. Pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila.4. Ang taong nagigipit, sa Bombay kumakapit.5. Pag may usok, may nag-iihaw.6. No guts, no glory, no ID, no entry.7. Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.8. Ang buhay ay parang bato, it’s hard.9. Kapag ang puno mabunga, mataba ang lupa!10. Hindi lahat

Disorder in the American Courts

2009-01-09T16:42:00.003+08:00

:rThese are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts.These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters, who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie

You Should Know Better!

2008-12-19T17:39:00.005+08:00

:v15 Sex Facts To Make You Feel Good!1 A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.2 Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium!3 Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.4 Eighty-five percent of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse are found to have been cheating on their wives.5 The greatest recorded

Tagalog Nursery Rhymes ng mga Bading

2008-11-27T23:24:00.007+08:00

:d*BUBUKA ANG BULAKLAKBubukesh ang floweretjojosok ang reynabelzshochurva ng chachapa jembot jembot fahboom tiyayavushtiyayavush chenesboom tiyayavushtiyayavush chenes______________________________*PEN PEN DE SARAHPENPen pen de chorvaloode kemerloo de eklavoohao hao de chenelynde ba yutechsi friti dapat iipitgoldness-filakchumochorvasa tabi ng chenesshoyang fulatalong na fulashoyang futetalong na

Inday Jokes

2008-11-01T12:24:00.010+08:00

:pAMO: Inday, ano ginawa mo sa microwave natin at sumabog?INDAY: Success is often the result of taking misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you somebody who has never achieved much.AMO: Impostora! Lumayas ka dito!******AMO: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?INDAY: I have computed the chair's value less cost to sell, and the value in

Pick-up Lines (the Corny way)

2008-11-01T11:51:00.006+08:00

:$1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..3. Uy papicture tayo!!*** para ma-develop tayo!!4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita??*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..5. Can i take your picture??*** coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for Christmas