Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The Gay and His Pleading Brother
Gay:
Ako'y matutulog na sa aking higaan, dahil ako'y gigising pa bago magbukang liwayway.
Sana ako'y makatulog ng mahimbing, upang ako'y makabawi sa ilang araw na pagsusunog ng aking makapal na kilay. Good night crush! =)
Brother
matulog ka ng mahimbing,
upang sa iyong pag-gising,
matanto mong ika'y lalaki rin!
Gay:
Ngunit kahit anong gawin,
umaga'y gumaganda pa rin,
dahil sa bawat paggising,
mukhang kaakit akit pa rin,
ang bumubungad sa akin!
Brother:
wala na bang pag-asa,
mawalay ang pagka-dyokla?
minsan ako'y nababahala,
dahil sa chenes mong pananalita!
utak ko ri'y nagsusumamo,
matigil na sana ang iyong eklavo!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Cooperation
Earlier, as I was browsing over our MAIDRS running pictures, my attention was caught by this one.
And so, I tagged this one as COOPERATION. Here's a closer look:
See what I mean?
And so, I tagged this one as COOPERATION. Here's a closer look:
See what I mean?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Yaya
:~
1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”
Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”
--- --- --------- ---------
2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”
--- --- --------- ---------
3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.
Doc: “Bottlefed?”
Woman: “Breastfed po.”
(Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)
Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”
Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”
--- --- --------- ---------
4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
“Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!”
--- --- --------- ---------
5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”
--- --- --------- ---------
6. Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
--- --- --------- ---------
7. (Earlier) Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”
(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”
--- --- --------- ---------
8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”
She answered: “Secret!”
--- --- --------- ---------
9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
“Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”
--- --- --------- ---------
10. Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”
Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”
--- --- --------- ---------
11. Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
Mom: “It’s up to you.”
(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”
--- --- --------- ---------
12. Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”
--- --- --------- ---------
13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”
--- --- --------- ---------
14. SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”
INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”
--- --- --------- ---------
15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”
--- --- --------- ---------
16. “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”
--- --- --------- ---------
17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”
Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”
--- --- --------- ---------
18. Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs:
“Down to earth! Down to earth!”
--- --- --------- ---------
19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
“Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!”
--- --- --------- ---------
20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son.
So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered:
“Parang Watson’s yata…”
--- --- --------- ---------
21. Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”
--- --- --------- ---------
22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”
--- --- --------- ---------
23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: “Yaya…”
Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”
Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”
Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”
--- --- --------- ---------
24. Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”
--- --- --------- ---------
25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
“Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”
--- --- --------- ---------
26. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
“Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”
--- --- --------- ---------
27. AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”
--- --- --------- ---------
1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”
Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”
--- --- --------- ---------
2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”
--- --- --------- ---------
3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.
Doc: “Bottlefed?”
Woman: “Breastfed po.”
(Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)
Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”
Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”
--- --- --------- ---------
4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
“Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!”
--- --- --------- ---------
5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”
--- --- --------- ---------
6. Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
--- --- --------- ---------
7. (Earlier) Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”
(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”
--- --- --------- ---------
8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”
She answered: “Secret!”
--- --- --------- ---------
9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
“Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”
--- --- --------- ---------
10. Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”
Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”
--- --- --------- ---------
11. Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
Mom: “It’s up to you.”
(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”
--- --- --------- ---------
12. Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”
--- --- --------- ---------
13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”
--- --- --------- ---------
14. SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”
INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”
--- --- --------- ---------
15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”
--- --- --------- ---------
16. “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”
--- --- --------- ---------
17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”
Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”
--- --- --------- ---------
18. Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs:
“Down to earth! Down to earth!”
--- --- --------- ---------
19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
“Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!”
--- --- --------- ---------
20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son.
So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered:
“Parang Watson’s yata…”
--- --- --------- ---------
21. Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”
--- --- --------- ---------
22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”
--- --- --------- ---------
23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: “Yaya…”
Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”
Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”
Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”
--- --- --------- ---------
24. Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”
--- --- --------- ---------
25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
“Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”
--- --- --------- ---------
26. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
“Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”
--- --- --------- ---------
27. AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”
--- --- --------- ---------
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Cirilo
:p
A wealthy man living in an exclusive Connecticut suburb decided that he
wanted to throw a party and invited all of 20 his buddies and neighbours.
He also invited Cirilo, the only Filipino in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion..
Everyone was having a good time drinking Roederer Cristal, Le Pin,
dancing, eating foie gras, Belon oysters and Wagyu beef BBQ and flirting.
At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15 foot man-eating
crocodile in
my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to
jump in.
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and
everyone turned around and saw Cirilo in the pool. Cirilo was fighting the
croc and kicking its ass. Cirilo was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff, like head butts and
chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the 20 croc through
the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Cirilo and the croc
were screaming and raising hell. Finally Cirilo strangled the croc and let
it float to the top like a goldfish. Cirilo then slowly climbed out of the
pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. A thunderous
applause greeted Cirilo.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Cirilo, my Princeton buddy, I reckon I owe
you a million dollars.'
No, it's all right, I don't want it,' said Cirilo.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.'
'How about half a million bucks then?' 'No thanks. I don't want it,'
answered Cirilo.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was
amazing. How about a new Maserati and a Rolex and some stock options?
Again Cirilo said no.
Confused, the wealthy man asked, 'Well Cirilo, then what do you want?'
Cirilo said, 'I want the name of that putang-inang bastard who pushed me
in the Pool.'
A wealthy man living in an exclusive Connecticut suburb decided that he
wanted to throw a party and invited all of 20 his buddies and neighbours.
He also invited Cirilo, the only Filipino in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion..
Everyone was having a good time drinking Roederer Cristal, Le Pin,
dancing, eating foie gras, Belon oysters and Wagyu beef BBQ and flirting.
At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15 foot man-eating
crocodile in
my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to
jump in.
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and
everyone turned around and saw Cirilo in the pool. Cirilo was fighting the
croc and kicking its ass. Cirilo was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff, like head butts and
chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the 20 croc through
the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Cirilo and the croc
were screaming and raising hell. Finally Cirilo strangled the croc and let
it float to the top like a goldfish. Cirilo then slowly climbed out of the
pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. A thunderous
applause greeted Cirilo.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Cirilo, my Princeton buddy, I reckon I owe
you a million dollars.'
No, it's all right, I don't want it,' said Cirilo.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.'
'How about half a million bucks then?' 'No thanks. I don't want it,'
answered Cirilo.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was
amazing. How about a new Maserati and a Rolex and some stock options?
Again Cirilo said no.
Confused, the wealthy man asked, 'Well Cirilo, then what do you want?'
Cirilo said, 'I want the name of that putang-inang bastard who pushed me
in the Pool.'
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