Matuwa Ka

:~ Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack! Q: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take four men to build it? A: No time at all it is already built. Q: If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A: Very large hands.(Good one) Q: How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A: It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. Q: How can a man go eight days without sleep? A: No Probs, He sleeps at night. Q: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A: It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. Q: What looks like half apple? A: The other half. Q: What can you never eat for breakfast ? A: Dinner. Q: What happened when wheel was invented ? A: It caused a revolution. Q: Bay of Bengal is in which state? A: Liquid

:z TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this kid) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: W...

:r (Karugtong ng Corny Pick-up Lines) "Kumain ka ba ng asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo!" "May lahi ka bang keyboard? Type kasi kita!" "Ipapupulis kita! Ninakaw mo kasi ang puso ko!" "Are you a dictionary? Kasi, you add meaning to my life." "Meron ka bang lisensya? Kasi, you drive me crazy." "I lost my number. Can I have yours?" "Angel ba ang name mo? Kasi, you look like one." "I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?" PAMATAY NA REPLY "Excuse me, kumain ka ba ng mais? Ang corny mo kasi!"

:D Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. Exactly 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is MARIO DIMACULANGAN. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2,000 people leave the room. MARIO says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to loseif I stay. I'll give it a try. Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience in managing more than100 people may leave. 2,000 people leave the room. Mario says to himself ' I never managed anybody but myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays. Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Mario says to himself, 'I left high school at 15 but what have I got to lose? So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Mario says to himself, ' I d...