Matuwa Ka

Click the images below to download and zoom. Evidence #1: Read the photo caption on the right of the image. Evidence #2: New word being invented.

The following conversations below are real-life scenario from the office. These were e-mail conversations between the Programmer (who also administers their own department's domain) and the Company's System-wide Administrator (who manages all the DHCP servers). The Problem: Trouble with IP Address conflicts within the Programmer's department, and an unknown machine that's been obtaining an already assigned IP Address from the Programmer's DHCP. Programmer: Pa-request po hostnames of the following, we can’t resolve our IP Address conflicts without knowing where these conflicts are: __:__:__:__:__:8D __:__:__:__:__:C1 Or better yet, please give us advice how we can permanently fix this. Do we need to restart the DHCP server? Clear the IP Address logs and re-assign new sets of IP Address to all our workstations? Reply from SysAd: Kindly give us all of your host names and respective mac addresses. This will resolve everything and don’t configure any static IP...

TO ALL PINOY KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's!   First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne, smoked and/or drank San Miguel Beer or Syoktong, while they carried us. The manghihilot was the cheapest way to deliver babies. Dinala ka ba ng nanay mo sa pediatrician for DPT?   While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, cortal or medicol, ate isaw, and didn't worry about diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints , pati na yung walker ( andador ) natin, matigas na kahoy or rattan at wala pang gulong. We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang), ( noon cloth or rattan duyan lang tied to the posts or ceiling, babies fell asleep sa sobrang hilo ) and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.   Take-out food was limite...

Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?! > > > > > > > > SA MAY KANTO. LASING: Miss ang panget mo! BABAE: Kapal ng mukha mo! Ikaw naman LASENGGO! LASING: Bukas di na ako lasing, ikaw bukas panget pa rin! Wahahahahaha..... > > > > > > > > ANAK: Dad I'm fifteen na, pwede na ba ako mag BRA? DAD: Di pwede! ANAK: But Dad, all my friends wear bra na... DAD:Tigilan mo ako RENATO!!! Baka pisain ko itlog mo!! > > > > > > > > HUSBAND: Pagkamatay ko ipamamana ko sayo 50 hectares ng lupa'tbahay at 350 million sa bank. Ano pa mahihiling mo? WIFE: Gusto ko mamatay ka na, Ngayon na! > > > > > > > > NENE: Inay, pinatambling ako kanina sa school! INAY: Gaga! Gusto lang nila makita panty mo! NENE: Alam ko! Kaya nga tinago ko sa bag yung panty ko eh!!... > ...

I Used to be like this... Then I met a gal... She was like this... Together, we were like this... I gave her gifts like this... When she accepted my proposal, I was like this... I used to talk to her all night like this... And at office used to do this... When my friends saw my gal friend, they stared like this... And I used to react like this... But on Valentines Day, she received red rose from someone else like this... And she was like this... And I was like this... Which later led to this... I felt like doing this... I started doing this... and this... Whew Girls!

Alam nyo ba? na ngayong 10.10.10 o Octubre a-dyes, taong dalawang libo at sampu, ay mayroong 5.5.5? limang byernes limang sabado at limang linggo, lahat ay napapabilang sa iisang buwan lamang ng Oktubre ngayong taon. Ito ay minsan lamang mangyari sa loob ng 823 taon. Maging mapanuri, mapangahas, at matulis. Ito po si Kuya Kim, sama-sama tayong maging..... SAKSI!!!

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....