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Break Muna

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Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan,
milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang
kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?!

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SA MAY KANTO.
LASING: Miss ang panget mo!
BABAE: Kapal ng mukha mo! Ikaw naman LASENGGO!
LASING: Bukas di na ako lasing, ikaw bukas panget pa rin! Wahahahahaha.....

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ANAK: Dad I'm fifteen na, pwede na ba ako mag BRA?
DAD: Di pwede!
ANAK: But Dad, all my friends wear bra na...
DAD:Tigilan mo ako RENATO!!! Baka pisain ko itlog mo!!

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HUSBAND: Pagkamatay ko ipamamana ko sayo 50 hectares ng lupa'tbahay
at 350 million sa bank. Ano pa mahihiling mo?
WIFE: Gusto ko mamatay ka na, Ngayon na!

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NENE: Inay, pinatambling ako kanina sa school!
INAY: Gaga! Gusto lang nila makita panty mo!
NENE: Alam ko! Kaya nga tinago ko sa bag yung panty ko eh!!...

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Misis: Darling, ano ang tawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi
selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!!!

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TANONG:Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya nang hindi
siya mababastos?
SAGOT: "Uhm, excuse me, miss...Mang Tomas ba ang lotion mo?"

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Husband: Kung di ako makaligtas sa operasyon ko bukas, ikaw
na sana ang bahala sa lahat-lahat... I LOVE YOU!
Wife:Tumigil ka! wala pang namamatay sa TULI!...

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Juan:San ka galing?
Pedro: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan:E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro:Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!!

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Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST partners:
Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!

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Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang section sya!

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Paano humamon ng AWAY ang ....

BULAG?
Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!
DULING?
Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!
PILAY?
Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!
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Comments

benjie said…
nakakatawa ung kay rizal
hahah
February 20, 2011 at 6:15 AM
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