Skip to main content

Pinoy Jokes

Image
By
Estudyante

Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500 Estudiante!

Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante.

Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL ok yun!


Pamboboso

Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!

Inay: Bastos 'yun, ah! Ano ginawa mo?

Anak: Inalis ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di n'ya makita!


Liit naman

Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...

Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..

Wife: E bat ikaw naka brief !!!


Dalawang Sira ulo....

SIRA1: Magaling ka na ba?

SIRA2: Oo namn!!!

SIRA1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?

SIRA2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d nalaglag pa ko!!!


TEACHER and BOY

TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?

BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.

TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?

BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!

TEACHER: baket naman?

BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.


Promotion

Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang dito humaharap sa korte ko, ha?

Swindler: Your honor, hindi ko kasalanan kung hindi po kayo ma-promote!


Kriminal

KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"

KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala pa rin siya! Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya..!


Si Gino

LOLO: Gino paabot nga ng kape ko.

APO: Lo, Gina po.

LOLO: Gino paabot nga ng kutchara.

APO: Lo, Gina po.

LOLO: Punyeta ka Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!


Tutpik

Customer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang ang dali pang mabali.

Waiter (inis pa): Alam nyo sir, ang dami ng gumamit nyan,pero kayo lang nakabali!


Confident Vs. Confidential

Anak: Itay, ano kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?

Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.


Panchito, Babalu, Dolphy

Panchito: Vitamins ko ABC -- Alak, Babae at Cigarette.

Babalu: Ako naman DEF -- Damo, Egg at Frutas.

Dolphy: Ako, from A to Z. Alma to Zsa Zsa.


First love never dies

Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies?"

Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang Tatay mo, hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang animal!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Ang Tanging Ina" Movie Funny Lines

By
:O 1. Pag may tyaga, goodluck! 2. Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao. 3. Pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila. 4. Ang taong nagigipit, sa Bombay kumakapit. 5. Pag may usok, may nag-iihaw. 6. No guts, no glory, no ID, no entry. 7. Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot. 8. Ang buhay ay parang bato, it’s hard. 9. Kapag ang puno mabunga, mataba ang lupa! 10. Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto, muta lang yan. 11. Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin. 12. Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin. 13. Better late than later. 14. Better late than pregnant. 15. Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment. 16. Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin, may utang. 17. Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa. 18. Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, ‘wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising. 19. Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid ay puno ng linga. 20. Ang sakit ...
Post a Comment
Read more

UNO Magazine Releases The Mocha Girls Special

By
If you think that they are just a simple girl group who gets TV time by dancing and singing on variety shows, think again! There is more to the Mocha Girls than just skin deep attraction. Landing on the cover of UNO, the ultimate guide for men in the Philippines, proves there is more to them than just fleshy beauty. Uno Magazine 2013 Special Holiday Release This pop all-girl group has seen its share of beautiful faces come and go, but one thing that has remained constant is the founder and the person who lent her name to the group, ringleader Mocha Uson. Mocha says what keeps the group going is the drive to reinvent itself. The current members minus Mocha were not there when Mocha Girls started seven years ago. But Mae, Franz, Seika, Georgina, Jhane with Mocha have found a way to use each other's strengths and complement these to form a cohesive, well-oiled pop group that thrives on reinvention. Mocha Girls has earned its share of awards for pop hits and with every ne...
Post a Comment
Read more

Random Facts

By
1. Coca-Cola was originally green. 2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed. 3. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. 4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. 5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. 6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!! 8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. 9. It is impossible to lick your elbow. 10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. 11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. 12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. 13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. 14. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head...
1 comment
Read more