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Manny Pacquiao Jokes

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Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?... gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.

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Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

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Reporter: Ngayung nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know.

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Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor: (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

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Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know.

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Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.
Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin. "MANKY"......
Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny-jinky)

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Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
Jinky: Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita. ang dilim!!

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Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi kulang diyan ay....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan,...maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order

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Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk:
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!

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Noodle!!

Noodle!! Noodle!!

Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

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Sa Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

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Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

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You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika.. Andito na ako sa 'you is!'

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Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating. Ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!


(Author's Note: These jokes are not owned by the author. These were all extracted from the circulating e-mails.)
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ishigo said…
Noodle!!

Noodle!! Noodle!!

Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal
-pamatay toh bwahahaha
August 29, 2010 at 7:51 PM
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